rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
