Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
