Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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