Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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