You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
they need to just BURY HIM!
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
