so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Randomize
