Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
