Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
