One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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