Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
