You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
