Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
