youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
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