smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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