If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
