is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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