Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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