You work out of a Hotel?
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
