The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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