i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
