How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
