So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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