Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
