genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
