Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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