lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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