dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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