i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
are you so shy because you have an std?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Randomize
