This is not my ceiling
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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