Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?