its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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