Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
