We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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