You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
