I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
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She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
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It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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