Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
