he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
