remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
