tell your sister to shave her snatch
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
