Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
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Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
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How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize