Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
