ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize