we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Randomize
