I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
And the cops told us we were all naked.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I'm having to shit out rocks
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