i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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