Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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