Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
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