I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
