Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
this hospital has no fireball
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
