After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
