just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
