Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
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