Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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