Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
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then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
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he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
50% drunk capacity currently
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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