I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
worst night to have a conscience
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
