I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
and you fell through a lawn chair
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
