I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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