i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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