You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
