Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
