24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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