Your mouth is God's brothel.
no, he came in my armpit
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.