Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
